i walked today
on a leash
right out the door
toward the distant
sun
stepping foot on the gravel
road
the brightness over
in the middle distance
the path was open —
not a tunnel, really
no, not at all
because a tunnel
is closed
contained
cylindrical
sterile
and it has an end
and how could we know
an end?
on that road
i whispered
to myself
that i’d awaken
again
to the secrets
of the world
i’d be awake
again—
my soul wide open
imbibing
the truths she’d
whispered to me
like
nature heals
love connects
love displaces hate
others can be saved and
we are redeemable.
because the sun looked
close enough to kiss
i thought i’d see color
again
the splash of magenta petals
resting beneath
a December-blooming tree
the sun blinding white
through the leaves
but the leaves were gone,
had shed and dissolved
and the clouds hid the sun
and the gray sheathed the streets
and blanketed the people
on both sides of town.
does anyone else feel
like they’re sinking into the earth
just like the leaves
into something sub-adult
sub-child
an ill-timed seed?
we must be
everything
clean
shining
smiling
brush our teeth
brush our hair
wash our faces
wash the dishes
wash the floors
bear our souls
bear our burdens
keep to a schedule
keep our heads up
wake up on time
feed ourselves
feed others
and what if
it’s too much or
not enough?
what if
we only want
to stay on that
open road
feel our feet melt
into the earth
look up and dissolve
into the sky
relate to the feeling
not of other humans but
to those of
music
silence
leaves of grass
the unsettled soul
the pulsing world
to finally return
with wide, wakeful eyes
to ourselves and
the truth.
